I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
we should paint friendship bongs
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