Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
im calling her cock vulture from now on
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
