I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
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I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize