we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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