Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
