Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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