Please, let me fuck your mom
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
