dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
