just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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