Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
