do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
