They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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