My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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