So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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