oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
