Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
