are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
