good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
