You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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