Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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