Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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