You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I need water and some morals
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
