who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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