it was like his penis was on wheels.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
