i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
