if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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