So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
