You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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