Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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