My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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