8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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