I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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