well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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