you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
