grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
