herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
