If that was your dad, he is hot
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
