We're facebook friends in real life
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied