I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
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I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
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I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!