There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
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you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
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Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have aggressive nipples.