Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
