Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
