I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
