Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
