i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize