Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
