I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize