how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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