My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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