dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize