Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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