I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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