I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
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Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
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He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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