fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
