dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
