just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
