Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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