glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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