You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
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No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize