I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
